He controls out of fear
Shoulders tight from sleeping on the couch
The idea of critique from the normals is laughable
He is his own judgments are what shatters hearts

-

I have such bad luck, I never meet any normal people. The cute ones are always crazy. Not event the hot ones, just the one who have potential. I never meet any breath taking people anymore. I have come to the conclusion that being picky with your friends really isn't as shallow as it sounds.

So something else wacky has happened to me. I got a new house mate. Everybody clap for Cody, he's been here for about three weeks now and he has sandy colored hair and green eyes. He's a "*Russian accent* How do you say... a.. Jungalist?" Junglist! 8D

Just the type of people I wanted to deal with actually. I like their extreme moments. Ashly is Cody's friend, and for the first day or two he was here things where going like... avoiding touching but then like it bloomed *gag* into like some kind of twisted love fest which including me cutting a design into Ashly's arm.

Then... he smoked... The Smoke...

In my house, under my roof, in my moms room. Bold as day after I had specifically told him not to EVER smoke chemicals in my house. He could fucking pack his shit and leave.

Very nicely he promised he wouldn't.

Then to say sorry he burnt the letters of the word onto his fingers. He got to "SORR" before I stood up and restrained him gentley. Basically half an hour later I was soft and as nice as I could be with Ashly upset.

But I seriously have problems with smoked chemicals, especially something with coke as one of the ingredients.

I have more new found trust issues and I just... no IT just broke the little bit of me. Like, I dont know if I ever WANT to trust anyone again.

My iPod, the only thing that is my very own space. Died. The poor dear got to cold and the screen fucked up and music wont play.

I... hate... humans...

But whatevvaa whatevvaa! The thing I learned as of this moment secret is that you cannot be mean to people and expect to be treated nicely yourself. AND that I like smoking now.

No motivation
The need for starvation
Rubbed off skin
Rashes
Stretch marks
Black heads
Disgusting human nature
Hearts cracking
Sucky journal entries
Need for Speed
Maybe some socks
Normality made its leave